Doctor Frog’s Pontification Pad

In accordance with my current wishes, inebriated though they might be, it is my Solemn and Pure wish that my Body once the Soul has evacuated its dissappointing housing be subject to Flames until it is rendered unto Ashes.

Once the body has been reduced to ashes, the remains are to be mingled with a half a can of coffee. The brand doesn’t really matter, whatever is on sale at the time is fine. Yuban, Maxwell House, though Chock Full o’ Nuts is entirely appropriate on many levels.

Once mingled, coffee is to be distilled from said remains and ingested by the mourner(s). Optionally, the resultant mixture may be desposited into a garden somewhere, where the byproduct of those ashes, whatsoever plant might spring forth from my remains (and coffee grindings), must instead be devoured by the mourner(s) in one fashion or another. One thing must be made entirely clear, that at some point you must EAT ME.

My regards to any survivors. My enemies list may be found in the usual place, go ahead an avenge me or whatever, it is “all good.”